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Have you ever had a dropped call? You know how much that sucks. Have you ever had a dropped call to. . . BEJING? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

My company is working with the Olympics to do something or other, and I have chats with my Chinese counterpart at least once a week. Sometimes he can’t get me on the work phone, you know that time difference and all. So my firm gave me a cell (thanks– now I’m on-call 24/7). Anyway, Mr. Cheung shouldn’t have to deal with crappy dropped calls. The last time we talked, it sounded like one of us was calling from 20,000 Leagues under the sea, in a figgin’ submarine, so I got my job to get me a Cellphone Signal Extender. This thing can keep you connected to a call from Mars. Just put the sandwich-sized booster near a window and talk until you run out of juice. Now that Mr. Cheung can hear me crystal clearly, my Mandarin has improved. Do you know how embarrassing it is to say, “Hello, Mr. Cheung, your mother is a horse?” Well, it’s EMBARRASSING. Thank God this guy’s got a sense of humor