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Okay, I know what you’re thinking. This guy wants to get down disco style in the toilet? GROSS. Whatever, man. I spend more time in my bathroom than Margot does in the Royal Tannenbaums. I have two kids– one who is potty training, and the other who likes to try to flush IMPOSSIBLE things in my toilet. So, basically, I gotta hang out in there to make sure it’s just poop that’s going to the great beyond. I even knocked out a closet (okay, I hired a contractor) to add more space to our main outhouse, so I could put a lounge chair in there. It’s not as icky as you think. . .

Anyway, my throne is not my own, so I might as well make it a party– so I got the iPod Dock Toilet Paper Holder. Now, bath time is fun time! We learn our ABCs, play rhyming games, and when I have a moment to myself, I listen to The Ramones. You can take the guy out of the can, but you can’t take the can out of the man. What am I saying?