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Now, I have been called a hillbilly. Well, if the shoe fits, get one more that don’t have a hole in it . . .
And I’m not gonna lie– I like drinking out of a mason jar, better than any of the fancy glasses my wife and I got for our wedding. I see them once a year. At holiday time. But my mason jar? That thing, I swear, was an invention of Leonard da Vinci. The dimensions are perfect, and when you drink out of it, you get FULL, like there’s a hidden compartment or something. Fill that baby up with orange juice, and it’s like you caught the sun in there. And that’s why I bought the Sun Jar. It looks like the jars my granny used to can her preserves in, and I love that. See, the jar has solar panels in it that during the day are getting charged by the sun. At night, LED lights give off this warm glow you would not believe. I’m going to line the back yard with them in the spring so we can all hang out there, when the earth thaws. Right now they’re in the kitchen windows, begging to go outside. But sometimes, when the kids are at the in-laws, I make my wife dinner and we eat by “sunlight.”
She sips wine from her fine crystal, while I slurp beer from my mason jar. You can take the hillbilly out of the woods, but you can’t make him a metro-sexual. Sorry.