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I’m a pretty easy-going guy. I don’t really get mad, I mean, why sweat the small stuff, right? Life’s to short, let it roll off your back, and all that. There are few things that set me off. Really only two things: smarty-pants people going up the down escalator, and the smell of tainted coffee beans. Freezer burn. . . ancient fish sticks hanging out of the cardboard box. . . recalled beef.
You know, after you’ve opened the vacuum sealed pack, it’s all downhill from there. I hide my distain, of course. . . my disappointment. But, my heart knows the truth. So I bought the Sharper Image Vac Coffee Canister. It’ll seal off more than one pound of coffee beans, trapping the freshness like air in a mummy’s tomb. Oh wait– that’s not all that fresh. . . you know what I mean. . . air-tight is what I’m trying to say. Tighter than the Space Shuttle hatch. Coffee ground control to Major Tom, yall. Your coffee will be as fresh as a sailor during fleet week. Excuse me– it’s 6:30 in the morning, and time for me to make my re-entry through the atmosphere.
