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This is the winter of my discontent. For real. I’m jumping out of my skin. I know, the days are already getting longer, but not long enough. So, I’ve been making regular trips to the basement. To build something. ANYTHING. I made an end table. And a bookcase. I made shelves for my wife’s growing collection of tea pots. SIGH. I’m building things in the dark. In my sleep. Unfortunately, I’m so anxious that I measure something, and then forget the measurement– like deep sea diving and getting the bends . . . where am I? WHERE AM I?

You know what they say, measure twice, cut once. Until I got the Voice Recording Tape Measure W/ LED Light, I’d just cut. CUT CUT CUT like Sweeney Todd until I whittled the wood to a spear point. This smart, 16-foot tape measure has a built-in recorder that holds 20 seconds of my babbling, so I don’t have to write down the numbers AND hold the tape measure at the same time. There’s a light on it, so I can see exactly what I’m measuring. WHEN will winter end?? Dang, I just recorded that.

SIGH. . . nothing like the dead of Winter to make your drool over your golf clubs, collecting dust in the corner of the garage. Sure, I could go to one of those indoor courses, but at the 9th hole, there’s the corrugated wall and a bunch of fake palms. Something about that says caged animal.

Dean, Frank, Sammy, Peter and Joey wouldn’t go to an indoor course. You know, The Rat Pack! The ORIGINAL Ocean’s Eleven. Love those guys. Wish I was that cool, wearing cashmere, but still looking manly, a martini in one hand, smoking cigarettes in the other and never getting cancer, strutting my stuff in the Las Vegas Casinos of old

But you know what would get me into their club if they were still around? The Designated Driver Kooler Klub. I know, it sounds dumb, but check this out. The Club Champ Kooler Klub is basically a 48-ounce keg that holds hot . . . or cold beverages. Mega-cool, isn’t it. And get this– the drink dispenser is cleverly disguised as a golf club. Oh man . . . this is worth waiting for summer. Scotch and Soda, on tap? Stop it. (Or just soda . . . whatever. . . I’m easy. I just want to go outside again. . .)

I loved my wallet. It was a worn leather wallet that I had since the Nixon Administration. This wallet went on my first date, my first job, and on my honeymoon. Okay, it wasn’t that old, but it was old enough to, quite frankly, take the very shape of my . . . excuse my French . . . derriere. You wonder how I could leave a part of my rear in my pants when I washed them. Well, I did. I washed my wallet. Yes, everything was in it. My credit cards, my i.d. and pictures of my family, receipts, business cards, all tie-dyed into a felted ball of plastic and goo, happily spinning in the cost efficient front loader washer we just got. My dog, who loves to see the clothes go, had the privilege of watching the entire event. And . . . HE DID NOTHING. Not even a yelp. Adding insult to injury, I dried the wallet, too.

So, Guess what I had to do: GET ANOTHER friggin’ WALLET.

So, I opted for something less like my own skin. I bought the Precious Metals Metallic Wallet Card Case. I know what you’re thinking . . . it’s too Blade Runner for you. But check this out– its aluminum, it’s durable, it’s . . . shiny. When you pop it open, it folds out like an accordion with little folders for all your stuff. Your paper items stay dry and crisp tucked in a series of seven rip-proof PVC material pockets. You could go rafting with this thing. Sure, it’s not leather. It doesn’t automatically warm to the touch, but you know what they say. Cold wallet, warm . . . well, your stuff stays dry and doesn’t end in the washing machine. That works for me.

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”

This is the challenging question boldly posed by this inspiring little paperweight, the perfect desk companion.
A great gift for a business partner or a friend or relative hoping to set up a new enterprise, it’s the way to ensure the people you care about follow their dreams.

Made of 100% lead-free pewter, the paperweight looks elegant and striking on any desk, at home or at work. Put simply, it’s a constant reminder that the sky’s the limit.

Just think, it might be the impetus for a great invention, a world-class business or a great novel! The possibilities are endless with this tiny but thoughtful gift that just might keep on giving.

We’ve decided to go GREEN at my house. Well, my wife has decided to go green. I have decided to go . . . greener than . . . not . . . green. This means we truck our own bags to the grocery, recycle everything we get our hands on, and we do our errands together, to save gas, and wear and tear on the roads, or something. And. . .less dry cleaning. NOOOooooo! I have to have crisp pants for work! The last time I tried to iron a pair of anything, it was my high school band uniform, which later, after the smell of plastic filled the room, I realized was made out of 100% polyester. How was I supposed to know? Ask my wife to iron my pants? You’ve got to be kidding. I’m a LIBERATED MAN thank you very much.

Look, I believe in green-ness and all that, but the average person has 30,000 days of life on earth, roughly. 40,000 if you’re lucky, and a lot less if you’re a man! I don’t want to spend. . . let me do the numbers. . . crap I don’t have TIME to give you the numbers– I just know I don’t want to spend my precious life span ironing my pants to just go sit down on them at work! Argh!

So, I found the Corby 4400 Automatic Pants Press. Looks like a machine for an old man– whatever. That old man might live a day longer since he doesn’t have to iron his gosh-dern pants! Anyway, it’s like having Alfred, Batman’s butler, press your pants. It’s even hand-crafted in England! Okay, put the pants in, close the thing, hit the snooze button, on your alarm clock– you’ve liked earned ten more minutes in bed. Meanwhile, the Corby presses your pants, evenly, unlike YOU. When it’s done, it shuts off automatically, without burning the things . . . unlike YOU. It has a change tray to place the things from your pockets, and a built-in hanger to hold your shirt, which doesn’t need pressing as much because it’s tucked in your pants and hidden under your jacket. Did I mention that the machine presses your pants?! Done. Even hits the wrinkles behind the knees– you know, from sitting at you desk ALL DAY. I need a flipping vacation. Green . . . next thing you know my wife will have me in a yoga class. NOOOooo! Alfred . . . get me my pants!

Do you know how they have those safe deposit boxes in hotels? Well now you can get one for yourself at home! It’s the Fingerprint Safe Box. You can keep all your expensive stuff, jewelry, cash, and other valuables and have some peace of mind. There’ll be nothing to worry about when your out camping with the family. This safe box will open only with the touch of your finger, so no one else can open it. It’s as safe as, well, your fingerprint.

All you have to do is place your finger on the slot, and voila it opens. What better way to keep all your prized stuff away from prying eyes.

Imagine driving along, in the sunshine, and spotting the perfect spot for a picnic. With a luxurious fleece blanket in the trunk, you’ve got comfort and luxury wherever you are.
Its 48″ X 59″, so decidedly man-sized, and it rolls up with a travel strap and handle. But what’s so special about this delightfully soft rug is the free personalization – choose a name or three block initials at no additional charge.
The personalized fleece blanket comes in black, purple and royal blue, and embroidery color choices are black, red, pink, white or light blue.
It’s not just for travel – the personalized fleece blanket also makes a tasteful addition to any lounge room, or even a great gift for a college-goer.

The Steinhausen Pocket Clip/Watch, takes convenience to the next level. Classy in appearance, this pocket clip can hold up to five credit cards on one side, and of course still leaving plenty place for some spare cash. Its metallic finish ensures that it won’t crack or break. You know how you get those cheap, tacky looking clip holders, this one spells luxury and you know its elegance when it’s got a name like Steinhausen. Even if you remove one of the cards, the rest of them remain intact.

And not to miss that sleek watch. So, next time your at the bar and you reach into your pocket to pay for a refill, this little device will surely remind you that it’s time to go home Mister!!

Are you bored with just having the phone and computer on your desk or do you have a lousy view from your workstation or office? The bookshelf aquarium barely takes up any space because it’s only 4″ deep but gives 180″ sq. of viewing area and room for up to six fish - a much more inspirational view than just a computer monitor and the top of the colleagues head who’s working opposite you!

The cabinet is made from tough shatterproof plastic and features integrated LEDs which provide bright overhead light. The aquarium includes a submersible, three-dimensional seascape background and gravel to add another dimension to this great addition to your desktop in the office or any work surface at home.

Don’t you hate it, your in your office and your cell phone just does not get any signal. I mean, your missing all those calls. And what’s even worse, at times you hear the phone, go to get it and the call drops, because the signal is just not strong enough. And what really takes the cake, is you jogging across the hallway trying to reach outdoors so that you can take that call on your cell phone.
There has to be a solution right?

Yep buddy…there’s a solution for everything nowadays. With the Cellphone Signal Extender you don’t have any more dropped calls or bad reception. You can just mount the antenna near a window and keep the base booster unit on your desk. The cable provided is long enough.

Set this up and you’ll see the bars on your cell phone going up.