I read an interesting post by Peter Crump on his blog, Find That Gift For Him, about whether or not a man should wear a wedding ring. You can check out the post here. He explains the history of men’s wedding rings, and makes some great points. Some of which I agree with, and of course, some of which I don’t. Don’t you just love the blog-o-sphere as a place to get differing opinions? Here is my take.
Crump explains that men wearing a wedding ring really only started during WWII as soldiers starting wearing them overseas as a symbol of their marital status. At the time, this was a voluntary act, and Crump argues that “despite the fact that the wearing of a mans wedding band is more common now, I think it is still true to say that it is considered optional.” Well I don’t know about you, but try going to my wife and asking her if my wedding ring is “optional” and I’m sure you’ll get a strong opinion. Which is interesting considering my ring almost never comes off unless I need to clean it, yet she usually removes hers the second she comes in the house.
Crump then goes on to say that for many men, it’s the first jewelry they may have ever owned so they are uncomfortable with it. Agreed, but hopefully it’s also the first wife he’s ever had (and last?) so everything has a break-in period.
He also points out that some men’s jobs or hobbies do not allow for the wearing of jewelry for safety or legal reasons. No argument there.
Peter’s main point of the post, is that the wearing, or not wearing, of a wedding ring should be entirely up the couple and shouldn’t be the subject of outside opinion. I couldn’t agree more.
My point here, and what I really want to add to this conversation, is that some kind of significant gift should be exchanged on the wedding day. So he’s not up for rings, so what, get him something else that works for the two of you. There are any number of pieces of jewelry that can be special. For example, when my grandmother was dying 15 years or so ago, she knew that my grandfather would end up married again. Obviously, she knew that he would then wear a new wedding ring. So she bought him a gold necklace that he wore as a symbol of her till the day he died. And yes, that necklace stayed on even during other relationships and marriages. The point is that another gift of significance can work, instead of a ring. Incidentally, I now own the original wedding ring that my wife had resized for me. It’s a really nice thing to have and I use it as an optional secondary wedding ring.
Optional secondary ring? Heck yeah. Variety is a good thing. A couple years ago, I was really giving my wife a hard time about never wearing many of the other rings I’ve given her over the years. She finally told me that she didn’t really want to wear multiple rings, being a school teacher and working with her hands all day, and she felt bad not wearing her actual wedding ring. So I told her that she was free to wear any ring she wanted, so long as she had something on her finger that I had given her. I’m not concerned about which ring she wears, so long as she wears one. Frankly, I’m much happier that the other pieces I’ve given her are getting some use now.
Since we’re on the subject of men’s jewelry, I’m so pleased to say that men’s jewelry has been coming on strong lately. Many different things have become fashionable again. So, I am going to officially announce that next week will be Men’s Jewelry Week at The Men’s Gift Guide. Each day, I’ll focus on a different kind of men’s jewelry and give you some of my top picks for each one. You may be surprised of some of the cool stuff out there for him right now. If you are going to make a jewelry purchase for the holidays, now would be the perfect time to get that done.
So thanks to Peter Crump, at Find That Gift For Him, for bringing up this topic. If you get a chance to check out his site, he’s got some great ideas on a variety of men’s topics.
